


Catching the Starlight

by theinvisibledisaster



Category: Pride and Prejudice (1995), Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: 1800s Prolonged Emotional Eye Contact, Angst with a Happy Ending, But when does he not, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Engaged Elizabeth/Darcy, F/M, Holding Hands, Jane Austen Levels of Pining, Minor Character Death, Mr. Collins almost ruins things, Post-Canon, Sad Elizabeth, Slow Burn, Soft Darcy, and i like to think jane would be proud, because i use that tag for everything else, which is hilarious considering that they're engaged but i digress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-07-25 15:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20028031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinvisibledisaster/pseuds/theinvisibledisaster
Summary: She let her hands drop to her sides, and looked up at him, “You had no need to come and find me.”“I’m sure.” He said. She smiled, shivering. Mr Darcy removed his jacket and placed it around her shoulders, despite her protests, “No, Miss Bennet, I will not have you freeze to death simply out of stubbornness.”She laughed, a small noise, but one he was glad to hear.“You mustn’t know me well, Mr Darcy. I would gladly catch my death of stubbornness.”His expression softened, “I am well aware of your temperament, that is why I will not let you. My obstinacy can rival even yours, I am certain.”The day after Elizabeth and Darcy get engaged, Elizabeth receives a distressing letter from Mr Collins, which sends her into a terrible depression and severely alters the weeks following. Neither Darcy nor Jane has ever seen her this way. Their engagement still unannounced, Darcy must find a way to express his worries without raising suspicion, and Elizabeth makes a rash decision.





	1. Beginnings and Endings

**Author's Note:**

> little known fact about me, the first fanfic i ever posted online was a Pride and Prejudice fic, because it's my favourite book and i'm a HUGE Austenite. this is NOT that fic, but it is significantly better written than that fic, so i'd say it counts. 
> 
> originally i posted this on fanfic.net, but now that i've pretty much completely moved away from that site, I'm transferring all the works I think are actually worth reading onto ao3, and I loved writing this fic.
> 
> I'm also editing it and improving it from the original as I go, so I hope you enjoy it!!!
> 
> title comes from Red Moon by Turin Brakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth gets some bad news and Darcy is an awkward gentleman who has no idea how to comfort her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always here for historial accuracy but also I am human and make mistakes, so if there are a few phrases that turned up in the early 1900s instead of the early 1800s, I do apologise. I wrote this fanfic two years ago and I'm editing it as I post. 
> 
> I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!!

When Mr Darcy arrived with his friend at Longbourn the day after his second proposal, he was disappointed to find that the one woman he wished to see was noticeably absent.

He couldn’t help thinking that that was _just_ his luck, even as he tried not to search for her familiar curls and teasing smile.

All the ladies returned to their seats and Mrs Bennet turned to Bingley, “Your visit was most unexpected sir! You’ll have to excuse the absence of my Lizzy, she has this morning received some long overdue letters from the house of Collins and has disappeared to the gardens to read them. I am sure she will join us in time, but of course you only came to visit our Jane.”

“Mama,” Jane said hesitantly, but Bingley just smiled at her as though he hadn’t heard.

Mrs Bennet watched as he took a seat beside his betrothed and cast her eyes darkly over Mr Darcy. He wasn’t expecting a warm welcome from her, but without Elizabeth there, the room felt decidedly colder despite the sun trickling in through the windows. He bowed his head politely at her and managed a quarter of a smile in the direction of Miss Jane Bennet, who returned it eagerly. When he was certain that no-one’s attention was on him, too enraptured with his friend, he paced to the window and looked out over the grounds.

He tried to appear as though he weren’t searching for her, but he couldn’t help the furtive glances up the trails, and Bingley caught his eye. He cast his mind back to the day before.

It had been Elizabeth’s suggestion to keep the news quiet for a few days more, to let Jane and Bingley have the spotlight for a while longer. However, he did suspect that Elizabeth had suggested it at least partially due to fear of telling her parents, and for that he could not fault her. They had agreed each to tell only one person, and judging by Jane’s concerned glances between him, Bingley and her mother, she could be in no doubt of her sister’s feelings.

He fidgeted a little, trying to keep all his feelings hidden behind his usual veneer, but that had always been harder where Elizabeth Bennet was concerned. He glanced back at Bingley, who nodded slightly, trying to be supportive from afar, and he tried to suppress a sigh.

Five minutes of awkward silence punctuated by Mrs Bennet’s nattering slowly dragged on. Mr Bingley and Jane felt ill at ease to be talking freely in the company of her mother, and her sisters did not know at what length they could talk. Besides which, Mr Darcy was silent as a statue, and so Mrs Bennet continued, oblivious to the uncomfortable quiet around her. Three more minutes stretched by before he rolled his eyes away from the window and grimaced at the family.

“I must continue with the day’s errands, and as I see Mr Bingley to be quite settled here for the morning, I believe I may excuse myself to complete them alone.”

“Come now, Darcy, I can–”

“No, my friend, you are perfectly content here, and I have much to do.” He turned and bowed his head to Mrs Bennet, “Thank you for your hospitality.”

He then turned and walked stiffly out of the room, Jane’s eyes following him pityingly, while Mrs Bennet’s looked only to him in mild annoyance. He opened the door and wandered down the lane towards his horse. When he had steadied himself on the saddle, he dug his heels into the horse’s side gently, and it began to move slowly in the direction of town, via the edge of the Longbourn property. He was lost in thought, and did not truly intend to reach town before Charles, so he took a moment to look around, to take in the gardens. The few brief walks he had embarked on in the area had always been accompanied by Miss Bennet, and he acknowledged that his attention was usually completely enthralled by her.

It really was rather pretty, this place, in a quaint sort of way, although he did try to quash the prideful part of him that wished to compare it to Pemberley. There really was no comparison to Pemberley, in his eyes - not even the royal gardens could delight him more. 

As he meandered down the lane, he passed a huge tree and lost sight of the building he was leaving behind. It was behind this tree that Elizabeth Bennet could be found, sitting on a bench beside it, obscured from the view of the house.

He dismounted and called out to her, “Miss Bennet?”

She looked up, startled, and clutched a letter to her chest. “Oh! Mr Darcy.”

“I’m sorry, I did not mean to frighten you. I thought you must have heard my horse?”

“Yes! No… I… I was lost in thought…” She said softly, and it was then that he noticed the redness around her eyes and the quiver of her hands.

“Miss Bennet, are you well?” The memory of the last time he’d asked her such a question flashed briefly across his mind, and he swallowed, worried.

“Uhm… I…” She paused for a long moment and put a palm to her forehead.

“If it is a personal matter, Miss Bennet, something you do not wish to discuss, I can leave you–”

“No,” she said softly, “Please, I… I would very much like to be able to discuss personal matters with you, Mr Darcy.”

“And I would very much like to listen.” He replied, and she nodded, suddenly unable to speak. He tied his horse to a low hanging branch of the tree and sat down beside her on the bench, “What is it, Miss Bennet?”

Her eyes filled with fresh tears, and he wanted nothing more than to wipe them away, but he sat, stiff as a board, and waited for her to speak, “My good friend, Charlotte Lucas, Charlotte _Collins_… has died.”

“Miss Bennet, I am truly sorry!” Mr Darcy said with feeling, “What can I do?”

She smiled sadly as the tears began to form pools beneath her chin, “I fear there is nothing to do but grieve. And I must tell my family.”

Darcy pulled a clean handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to her. She took it and thanked him, and began dabbing at her eyes. He observed her, thinking on it, and when she tried to hand the cloth back, he refused, pressing it back into her hand.

“Would you prefer that I tell your family, if it is too painful to discuss?” He offered.

“No, thank you, that is very kind, but this is news that I must share.”

“Do you… Are you aware of what happened?” Darcy asked carefully.

“Yes.” She whispered.

“Would you feel... would it trouble you too much to discuss it?”

"I would very much like to discuss it, Mr Darcy." She admitted. 

He nodded and waited for her to speak. 

“She wrote to me, some weeks ago, to tell me she was with child,” She paused, a guilty look crossing her face that Darcy could easily understand. He wore that expression far too frequently for a man of his age. Guilt like that did not belong on such young faces. “I tried to be happy for her, but I could not fathom a happy childhood for a creature under the care of Mr Collins, no matter the capabilities of my friend. I responded as kindly as I could, but I fear she knew of my true feelings… I have never been very capable of hiding my emotions from Charlotte. That was the last letter she received from me before she…”

“Oh, Miss Bennet…” Darcy did not have any idea what to say.

Lizzy smiled bitterly, “Jane would be so disappointed.”

“I am certain that is not true,” Darcy responded, but she shook her head, frustrated.  
  
“The letter I wrote… it was not becoming of me, and not indicative of the friendship we have maintained our entire lives. I was not direct in my rudeness, but there is certainly a dearth of consideration.”

“Miss Bennet,” Darcy said sympathetically, and she sighed.

“She had not responded for a long time, and when I obtained_ two_ letters this morning, I was anxious to read them and respond more sympathetically than I had to the last. The first was inconsequential, obviously sent before she received my last. The second… it acknowledged my feelings but asked that I be happy for her all the same. She… She mentioned that she was feeling ill, but she was sure it was nothing. I was confused at first, to find a letter from Mr Collins stuffed in the envelope, but upon finishing Charlotte’s letter…” It was at this point that Elizabeth Bennet dissolved into tears and covered her face with her hands, “I am so sorry Mr Darcy, I am not a convivial host of your attentions today.”

“That is of no consequence, Miss Bennet,” He reached out and, with the utmost care, pried her hands from her face. He brought them down, holding them gently between them, “What did Mr Collins have to say?”

“Mr Collins… He wrote to tell me that my friend had collapsed on a walk to a dinner with Lady Catherine. He made it clear that it was an inconvenience for her Ladyship, but despite this, her personal physician was called… and that despite her Ladyship’s _impressive condescension_ my friend perished, due to ‘birthing complications’. Mr Collins regretted to inform me that his wife and son _died_ under such _inopportune_ circumstances,” Her voice dripped with fury as she repeated Mr Collins’ words and Mr Darcy shook his head in anger.

“Miss Bennet, I am truly sorry, both for your friend and for the distress you are suffering. I want to help as much as I can; may I do anything for your present relief – I can send you back to Longbourn on my horse if you wish?”

“I thank you, Mr Darcy, but I wish to stay here for some time longer. I believe I must regain my composure before I can face my mother today.”

A small silence prevailed, and he wasn’t sure what to say or do, all he knew was that his hands were still in hers and he felt completely ineffectual by her side, unable to help.

“I believe you must have long been desiring my absence–”

“Not at all!” Elizabeth looked up for the first time that day and her brown eyes sought his out, holding his gaze with something akin to desperation. She shook her head, “Would you mind, if it is not too much trouble, staying with me for a few minutes more? I do not wish to be alone.”

“Of course, Miss Bennet.”

She closed her eyes and focussed on getting her breathing under control, and Mr Darcy leaned in closer in offering for her to rest her weight on him if she needed. She sobbed quietly, “I should apologise for being so fretful in your company Mr Darcy, I do not wish to be.”

“No, no, Miss Bennet, please do not apologise. Your friend of many years has passed, you do not have to apologise or dismiss yourself for feeling this way. In fact, I would appreciate it very much if you never apologised for sharing your emotions with me. My greatest wish is that you never feel you have anything to hide where I am concerned. I do not want to be a person that you fear, Miss Bennet.”

She squeezed his hands tighter, but did not open her eyes, “Thank you,” she breathed.

“You are more than welcome, Miss Bennet.”

They sat that way in prolonged silence, but it was not one of discomfort as the one in the sitting room had been earlier that morning; it was a silence of comfortability, a silence of mutual agreement to just _be._

Mr Darcy watched her face as they sat, watched the breath leave her lungs in little bursts of fog against the cold air, and tried to imagine mornings spent this way under happier circumstances, perhaps here, or home at Pemberley, when they could sit together as husband and wife. His heart swelled with every glimpse of her smile, and he wished more than anything else that he could return it to her cheeks.

“Lizzy?” Someone called through the hedgerow. They dropped their hands, and Mr Darcy stood up and folded his arms behind his back.

Jane emerged through the path and stopped in surprise when she saw the two of them, “Oh! I am dreadfully sorry; would you like me to come back?”

“No, Jane!” Lizzy gasped, “Please stay, Mr Darcy was just staying to make sure I was well.”

“Oh Lizzy, you have been crying! Whatever is the matter?” Jane cried, kneeling down beside her sister. Lizzy picked up the letters from her side and handed them to Jane. Jane paced unhurriedly as she read them, finally finishing Mr Collins’ letter as tears formed in her eyes.

“Oh, poor Charlotte! Poor Sir William Lucas! Poor Mr Collins!”

“Poor Mr Collins?” Elizabeth said bitterly, and Jane gave her a meaningful look.

“Lizzy, however much you did not like Mr Collins, he has still lost his wife and child, and I am sure he feels the loss as keenly as you do for your friend.”

“Of course. I am just… I will never get to see my friend again,” Elizabeth said emotionally.

Jane looked at Mr Darcy, who was hovering, trying to decide whether to scoop Elizabeth into his arms or stay stock still in the presence of her most beloved sister. He was wringing his hands behind his back, trying not to let his own distress at Elizabeth’s pain show on his face, but Jane noticed anyway. She sighed, “Mama sent me to find you. We have an engagement with Aunt Phillips – her dinner party, do you recall? Mr Darcy and Charles and his sisters will be attending also. She wishes us to be ready soon. I am sure if we tell her of the circumstances of your letters, she will excuse us.”

Elizabeth shook her head fervently, “No, I would like to go.”

“You would?” Jane and Mr Darcy asked in unison.

“I need to distract myself from my woes, and dinner with my aunt is a good way to do so.”

“Are you sure, Miss Bennet?” Darcy looked apprehensive.

“Truly, no-one will begrudge you wanting to stay at home, Lizzy.”

She only nodded. “Yes. Yes, I will go, and we will tell Mama tomorrow, when I have had some time to come to terms with this terrible news.”

“If that is what you believe is best.” Jane offered her a hand and Elizabeth took it, rising from the bench and taking a deep breath.

Jane nodded at Mr Darcy, “Thank you, for taking care of her. Charles has gone into town, I am sure you can meet him there. We will see you at dinner this evening.”

He bowed and looked to Lizzy, “I will be there, Miss Bennet.”

He turned and began to untie his horse, but he hadn’t managed to put a foot in the stirrup when Jane reappeared by his shoulder. He glanced around, but Lizzy had evidently headed back toward the warmth of the house. Jane looked apprehensive and she was glancing the same way, watching for some sign that Elizabeth was moving away from them. Satisfied that her sister was no longer within earshot, she readjusted her gaze to her future brother-in-law.

“Mr Darcy, I am sure I do not have to explain to you that my sister is upset. However, I believe it is important for you to understand the extent of her distress. Elizabeth has been friends with Charlotte since they were children – they were like sisters, almost as close as Lizzy and I. Perhaps more, in some ways, despite their distance these last months. She has never suffered such a devastating loss, and I am unsure how to proceed, because _she_ is unsure how to proceed. I am concerned that her behaviour may be somewhat erratic in the next few days, and [erhaps even weeks, and I would like some assurance that you will not… _abandon_ my beloved sister, in her time of need.”

It hurt him, more than he hoped it would, that Jane even felt the need to ask, and she seemed to be worried she had overstepped, but he was quick to reassure her. 

Mr Darcy nodded, “I respect your concerns, but I can promise you that I will not recant my proposal, nor will I run from Miss Bennet, simply due to some uncharacteristic conduct. I have been in love with your sister for a long time, and I intend to be the person she has grown to love, not the man she used to despise. If she requires anything from me, I will do it, without hesitation.”

Jane nodded and smiled, her worries abated, at least for the moment. “I look forward to seeing you and Mr Bingley this evening, Mr Darcy, if only because I know your presence will calm my sister’s nerves.”

“I would not miss it, Miss Bennet.” He swore.

She curtseyed and excused herself to return to the house and tend to Elizabeth.

Darcy mounted his horse and began toward town with haste, aiming to catch up with his friend, but his mind was elsewhere; all he was occupied with was the sadness etched on his betrothed’s face, and how he could soften it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts?
> 
> kudos and comments make me happier than Darcy seeing Elizabeth's smile


	2. Stoking The Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth struggles to react to Charlotte's passing, and Darcy feels helpless to comfort her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I finally got some time to edit some more of this fic! I hope you're enjoying it so far, and I'm sorry I'm keeping you waiting! I just really want it to be good enough. 
> 
> This chapter isn't too dramatic, although there is some nice Darcy/Elizabeth content, but I promise the drama really heats up soon!

Mrs Bennet was performing her usual show at Mrs Phillips’ dinner; she whispered far too loudly for secrecy and waved her knowledge and her daughters accomplishments over the heads of those who sat close enough to listen. Mr Bennet was also in fine form that evening, nodding politely at the comments of others and trying his best to ignore his wife, and to shush her when her accusations and boasts became too much for polite society.

The seating arrangements were muddled, as Jane had thrown the whole plan into disarray when Mrs Bennet announced her engagement to Mr Bingley loudly enough for the entire room to hear. Mrs Phillips flew into a panic, and decided to blend the two tables together – the Bingley’s and the Bennet’s – so as not to offend either party by removing Jane or Charles. Instead of being seated at two small, separate, square-ish tables, Mrs Phillips found them a much larger, rounder one, and moved the couples seated there onto the two others now spare. So, Jane and Charles sat together, and on Bingley’s side were Darcy, Caroline, then Mrs and Mr Hurst, and on Jane’s were Lizzy, followed by Mary, Kitty, Mr and Mrs Phillips, and Mr and Mrs Bennet, who ended up on Mr Hurst’s right. Jane and Charles had both subtly tried to influence the table so as to place Darcy and Elizabeth together, but Caroline was quite insistent on her having him beside herself.

Lizzy was unusually quiet that evening, refusing to involve herself in even the lightest of conversation, and she followed in the example of Mary and her father, and tried to ignore her mother and just reach the evening’s end. She had thought that being out in the company of friends and associates would lift her spirits, but instead she felt alone, with exception to Jane, who kept offering sentences in her direction.

It was a quieter affair this evening – while many families and couples had accepted the invitation, the Lucases, and therefore Sir William, usually the cheeriest guest at any party, had politely declined.

“That is _two_ daughters engaged now, Mrs Bennet!” One of her gossipy acquaintances remarked from the table behind her. She leaned back, forgetting about dessert entirely, and waved her arms about in excitement.

“Oh yes! I am so very proud, I am near beside myself with excitement!” Mrs Bennet said brightly, then barely lowered her voice so as to seem conspiratorial, “Of course, I_ could_ have three daughters engaged, but Lizzy thinks it below herself to marry! In fact, some months ago, she had a suitor within her grasp, and when he offered his hand, what do you think? She refused him!”

Caroline seemed instantly to perk up, and she too forgot about the sugary plate in front of her so as to better hear the conversation being had to her right. She needn’t have bothered, for Mrs Bennet could surely have been heard across the room, despite the many conversations being had.

The whole table fell quiet to listen, and Mr Darcy glanced at Elizabeth – had she told her mother of his first proposal? She shook her head at him – of course she hadn’t, she would not humiliate anyone like that. Her mother, on the other hand…

“Truly!?” The other woman gasped theatrically and Mrs Bennet knew she had a captive audience.

“Truly, Beryl! You recall Mr Collins? Well, he proposed to my Lizzy before he saw to Charlotte. It was only because she turned him down, point blank I might add, that he even went to the Lucases in the first place!”

Jane’s eyes widened slightly, and her eyes flicked across to her sister, but Elizabeth was doing her best to seem like she could not hear. Jane knew she could, though – she could see Lizzy’s hands beneath the table, scrunching her dress against her knees.

Darcy, too, was concerned. He was barely surprised by the revelation that she had turned down Mr Collins – if she had been the kind of woman to marry him, he would never have been so taken by her. He knew her to be a woman of integrity: she would not allow a man like Mr Collins to _own_ her, she wanted to be her own woman. He respected that immensely. No, he was concerned that she would hear the words of her mother as not just a reminder of the friend she had lost that morning, but as encouragement that it was her fault. He wished to lean around his friend and her sister and tell her it wasn’t so, that she could afford herself no blame, but he knew how improper that would appear, so he remained silent, and listened in dread as Mrs Bennet continued.

“Oh yes, Beryl! And of course, she did have a particular friendship with Mr Wickham, but he left town before he could propose, and when he came back she had lost interest in his affections, and then he married my youngest, Lydia. So that is _two_ gentlemen that my Lizzy has rebuffed with no rhyme nor reason!” She pronounced, and this time Darcy’s head twisted sharply in Elizabeth’s direction, but he was not the only one. Now the whole table was staring at her. She looked around at them all, unsure, but she did not argue. 

Darcy considered speaking up in her defence, but at this time, in this place, with their engagement still a closely guarded secret, he felt it would perhaps have been more harmful than good. 

It was Jane who spoke up. “Mama, that is not true, Mr Wickham was never going to propose to Lizzy.”

“He might have done, had she given him the chance!” Mrs Bennet snapped.

“That is not fair, Mama, she never wanted–”

“No, of course not, she never thinks of anyone but herself.”

“Mama!” Jane said, as the same time as Mr Bennet said,

“Wife!”

“It is true, if Lizzy had accepted either one of them, she could be happy now – as content as Lydia, or as comfortable as her friend Charlotte Lucas.”

Mrs Bennet could not have known how insensitive she was being in regards to Charlotte, but she should have known better than to brag about Lydia’s happiness, considering the widely-discussed elopement. It was this final comment that sent Elizabeth over the edge, and Jane could see the tears rising up again. She reached out to her, but Lizzy flinched back and looked down at her dessert.

“Is that true, Eliza?” Caroline asked, relishing the moment, hoping fervently that Mr Darcy would now see the error of his feelings towards her.

Lizzy sipped her wine, “Which part, Miss Bingley?”

“Surely, all of it?”

“No, not all of it. Mr Wickham and I were never anything more than friends, and now we are no more than brother and sister, and not close ones at that.” She resisted the urge to look at Mr Darcy.

“But Mr Collins? He only proposed to your friend because you_ turned him down?_ How on _earth_ did you refuse such a man?” Caroline said mockingly, and Lizzy could take it no more.

She stood, placing her napkin down next to her plate with as much calmness of countenance as she could muster, “Excuse me, I have something of a headache. I believe I will get some fresh air.”

She spun on her heel and removed herself from the dining room.

“Lizzy?” Jane called after her, but she did not stop. “Mama, that was not very nice!”

“Why should I take any notice of Lizzy's headaches?” She said flippantly.

Mr Bennet grumbled, “Wife! You should not say such things!”

“I do not understand your favouritism of Lizzy, Mr Bennet. She has done nothing but disappoint us in the avenue of finding a husband,” Mrs Bennet said, then turned back to Beryl and proceeded to continue the conversation, turning it to someone in the village’s son, as though such an earthshattering event had not just occurred at the table.

Caroline looked over at Darcy, who was staring so hard at the fork in his hand that he might have bored a hole in it, and she felt satisfied that he was regretting his interest in Elizabeth Bennet.

In actuality, it was taking every bit of his strength not to go storming out of the room after her.

* * *

Elizabeth did not come back when they finished their desserts. Darcy held his tongue and maintained his seat, but it became harder to restrain his concern when she still hadn't returned by the time they moved into the other room for tea.

Jane seemed anxious to leave, to find her sister, but she was surrounded by so many people congratulating her and asking questions of her and her fiancé that she couldn’t find a way out. She only had one hope; she searched around the room until her eyes landed on Mr Darcy, standing rigidly in the corner, away from the crowd, but close to Charles’s sisters. It took him a good while to catch her eye, but once he did, he seemed instantly to know what she was asking.

He nodded from across the room, and turned to the two women seated beside him - Mr Bingley's sisters.

“I apologise, but I must retire to Netherfield early – I have not written to Georgiana for many days, and I fear she will believe my neglecting her. If I finish writing this letter this evening, I can send it first thing tomorrow, but if not, it will not be done until the day after, and I cannot let that happen. Pray, forgive me?” He looked to the ladies, and they both smiled at him, simpering.

“Of course, Mr Darcy, but we know that is not why you are _truly_ leaving.” Caroline said jovially, and he raised an eyebrow.

“Oh?”

“Yes of course! You find these kinds of gatherings to be _insupportable_ and you are retreating.” She said, in such a way as to suggest they shared an in-joke, and he attempted to keep his rampant displeasure off his face.

“Believe what you will, Miss Bingley, Mrs Hurst, I must beg my absence.” And with that, he quietly exited the room.

Elizabeth was not in the hallway, nor was she downstairs, and he began to feel a creeping sense of worry. He opened the front door and stepped out into the chilly night. He looked out over the property, as far as the light would go, but he could see nothing beyond a few feet. He was about to head out into the night, when he heard a sniffle to his right. He looked over, but no-one was there as far as the corner. She must have been on the other side, hiding. Which seemed so very unlike her.

He walked across, and when he arrived at the corner of the house, he found Elizabeth, face in hands, leaning against the wall away from view of the windows and the front door.

“Miss Bennet?” He enquired, and she gasped slightly.

“Mr Darcy!”

“My apologies, I merely wanted to enquire as to your health.”

“I am well, Mr Darcy.”

“That is not true, Miss Bennet.” He said sympathetically, “You do not have to lie to me.”

She let her hands drop to her sides, and looked up at him, “I know. You did not have to come and find me.”

“I’m sure.” He responded and she smiled, shivering. Mr Darcy removed his jacket and placed it around her shoulders, despite her protests, “No, Miss Bennet, I will not have you freeze to death simply out of stubbornness.”

She laughed, a small noise, but one he was glad to hear.

“You mustn’t know me well, Mr Darcy. I would gladly catch my death of stubbornness.”

His expression softened, “I am well aware of your temperament, that is why I will not let you. My obstinacy can rival even yours, I am certain.”

“Yes, I suppose it can,” She murmured.

“I am sorry for your mother’s behaviour, it was very wrong of her to attack you so.”

“What did she say of me that was not true? I _did_ refuse Mr Collins, and then he proposed to Charlotte.”

“No, Miss Bennet.” He said, somewhat harshly, yet he could not find it within himself to regret it.

“I’m sorry?” She asked, confused.

“The death of your friend is not your fault. For all you know, if you had married Mr Collins and Miss Lucas had married another, she may still have passed away. Some women are simply of that… disposition.”

Elizabeth sighed, “I know. I just… I was so…”

“You are worried about your last letter? You’re concerned that you were not nice enough?”

“Yes.” Elizabeth sobbed.

“Charlotte Lucas knew that you did not mean your words so severely, I’m sure. You had been friends for many years, and I can easily believe that she knew that your unease came only from a place a love, and companionship. I am certain she held no ill will for you before her passing.” Darcy said.

She blinked up at him and wrung her hands together, speechless for the first time in their acquaintance.

He moved closer to shelter her from the wind, and suddenly became aware of the scandalous nature of their position. He was standing so close to her in the shadows cast by the house, and his jacket was draped about her shoulders. Elizabeth seemed to notice, but made no move to remedy the situation; she was enjoying the warmth radiating from him, enjoying the comfort she received from his standing by her. He, however, could not allow them to be discovered alone, in the dark, and so he brought one of her hands to his lips.

“I must return to Netherfield, and I suggest you return to your sister, she is worried.”

“Yes.” Lizzy said contemplatively.

“Charles has invited your family to dine with us tomorrow evening… I can make certain that you are sitting between myself and your sister, if you wish?”

She sighed, a mixture of happiness and trepidation that he could well understand, “Yes. I would like nothing more.”

He released her hand and she instantly felt the loss of its weight in her own, “Then I bid you goodnight, Miss Bennet. I will attend to you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Mr Darcy.” She shrugged off his jacket and handed it to him and he bowed, retreating across to his horse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying it! Your comments and kudos make me happier than Mrs Bennet in a room full of gossips.


	3. Fanning The Flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner at Netherfield takes an argumentative turn, and Elizabeth is beginning to crack under the grief.

The next morning, after some pressing, Elizabeth told her father the sad news. She’d stolen back inside eventually, to find that most people had not noticed her absence, and sipped tea with her sisters for the rest of the evening. But in the light of day, she felt she could conceal her grief no longer.

“Oh Lizzy, why did you not say anything?” Her father asked pityingly, patting her arm.

“Everyone was in such high spirits, I did not wish to ruin them with my misery.”

“I think your mother did a perfectly good job of ruining everyone’s high spirits on her own.” Mr Bennet pointed out.

“Oh, I don’t know. I believe Caroline Bingley was thankful for Mama’s outburst, as she now has more reasons to dislike me.” Lizzy quipped.

Mr Bennet chuckled, “There’s the Lizzy I know. I am glad to have her back, even for the briefest of moments: she was noticeably absent yesterday.”

“I will attempt to remain present today.”

“My dear, I could not fault you for it, you are saddened. If you do not wish to attend dinner at Netherfield this evening, I am convinced I can excuse you.” Mr Bennet said kindly, but she shook her head.

“No, I wish to go, I wish to be with Jane.”

“If you are certain, I shall not stop you, but only if you are certain.”

Lizzy thought about the evening before, remembered Mr Darcy’s kind words and appraising gaze, “I am certain.”

* * *

Later that afternoon, the rest of the family was informed by Mr Bennet of Charlotte’s passing, and they all reacted with a subdued degree of sadness. Elizabeth found the entire conversation to be trying, but she knew that their despondency was honest. She accepted their condolences, and smiled at her sisters, but her mother’s came with no apology for the previous evening, and Elizabeth found herself feeling more bitter than usual.

Her mother’s crass behaviour had never bothered her to this extent before, and although it was usually some level of embarrassing, she had always managed to dismiss it. Today, however, she found that she could find no forgiveness, not that her mother asked for it.

Jane could see her discomfort and quickly steered the conversation to other things, “Mama, what shall we wear to Netherfield this evening?”

Mrs Bennet immediately rushed to action, flurrying about the house to ensure everything was perfect. Kitty enjoyed the attention bestowed upon her, that had only started once Lydia had moved away, but Mary found it unbearable. Jane and Lizzy could usually smile away, but Elizabeth was in no mood for her mother’s antics.

“Would you like me to do your hair, Lizzy?” Jane asked.

“You do not have to be so kind to me, Jane. Tend to yourself. I may manage on my own.”  
Jane started to protest, but Elizabeth was saved from having to disappoint her by Mary’s appearance.

“Please, Jane, may you do my hair? I do not think I could bear another evening at the hands of Mama.” Mary asked, and the older girls smiled knowingly. Jane agreed, but when she looked to include Lizzy, the woman had disappeared to her own quarters.

Mary caught the glance and nodded, “Lizzy does seem remarkably unlike herself.”

“She is grieving, Mary,” Jane agreed.

“I cannot imagine how she must be feeling, if this is how she is perceived.” Mary commented.

“I’m sorry?”

_“My grief lies all within; and these external manner of laments are merely shadows of the unseen grief that swells with silence in the tortured soul,”_ Mary recited, “Shakespeare tells us that no matter how offended or distressed someone may appear, what goes on beneath it is much more powerful. Her sadness is…”

“Indisputable,” Jane finished for her, and Mary sighed agreement.

Elizabeth Bennet was not seen until they all ascended into the carriage, her dress and hair simply done, and a small, polite smile on her lips. Jane was becoming increasingly concerned for her sister’s temperament, and contemplated turning the carriage around and leaving Elizabeth at home for her health, but decided against it. Perhaps a night with Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley would do her sister some good – an evening with friends being preferable to staying at home alone.

* * *

Elizabeth was quietly delighted to find herself seated beside Mr Darcy for the duration of dinner, but even more delighted to find his younger sister beaming at her from the hallway alongside him and Mr Bingley as they entered Netherfield.

“Georgiana!” She cried, and the younger Darcy bowed gracefully.

“Lizzy! How I have missed your company these past months!” Georgiana said with feeling.

“And I you. But whatever are you doing here?” Lizzy asked, and managed to catch Darcy’s eye over her shoulder. He tilted his head at her and she felt her smile grow wider and more honest with every passing moment.

“My brother invited me in his last letter, and I had missed him, and you, so much that I left the moment the carriage was ready,” the girl said cheerfully and Elizabeth laughed and faced her family.

“Georgiana this is my mother, my father Mr Bennet, Kitty, Mary, and my older sister Jane. My youngest sister Lydia is lately married and living away. This is Georgiana Darcy, Mr Darcy’s younger sister.”

Everyone was too surprised at Lizzy’s familiarity with the girl to say anything, but Jane, who knew of their kinship, was the first to step forward, “Miss Darcy, it is such a pleasure, Lizzy has sung your praises ever since her return from Pemberley. I have been dying to meet you.”

“Oh Jane, Lizzy has told me so many wonderful things. Congratulations on your engagement,” Georgiana said. “And of course my brother told me of your younger sister’s marriage.”

Her tone darkened, only a little, and not for the first time that week, Elizabeth found herself wondering at the effect of her engagement to Mr Darcy – by accepting his hand, she was forcing George Wickham back into their lives. She allowed a frown to cross her face.

“Oh, did he now?” Mrs Bennet asked pointedly, assuming that Darcy could only stoop tell others about their family where it came to scandal.

“Mama!” Elizabeth scolded, and Darcy, who had been watching the interaction, felt slightly relieved.

Despite the pained expression on his beloved’s face, she had her fiery disposition returned, and he could not help the half-smile that always appeared when he thought of Elizabeth. She noticed it, and her frown alleviated itself somewhat. Mrs Bennet, to her credit, shrunk back and said nothing more.

Mr Darcy inferred from the demeanour of the Bennets that Lizzy had told them of Charlotte’s passing, and he did feel sorry for the family, despite his annoyance at Mrs Bennet’s behaviour.

“Ah, the Bennets! It’s so lovely to have you here!” Caroline wafted through, followed by her sister, and Mr Hurst.

“And it is very gracious of you to have us, we are most grateful,” Mrs Bennet responded heartily. Mr Bennet was sure he felt a muscle in his eye strain itself from the desire to roll at his wife’s performance, but he managed to keep it straight.

“Yes, thank you for your hospitality,” He joined in.

“Not at all! We couldn’t resist having you around, especially now Jane and Charles are engaged! Though, of course, we would have invited you in any case.” Caroline said breezily.

“Of _course,”_ Elizabeth muttered under her breath. They all followed the Bingleys through to the dining room, and Darcy found himself situated happily between his betrothed and his sister, while Caroline had to resign herself to her seat on Georgiana’s other side due to some crafty work on Charles’s part.

Conversation flowed more readily in the more intimate circumstances of Netherfield than it had at the large gathering of families the evening before, and Lizzy began to ease into the light back and forth she was usually so adept at. Mr Darcy even felt more comfortable in conversing openly with her, now that she was seated beside him, whereas for the past few gatherings he had kept his distance to avoid arousing suspicion.

“Miss Bennet, Georgiana has talked of you in every letter she has sent since you returned home,” Darcy said, smiling, and both his sister and Elizabeth blushed.

“I did not realise I had any such effect,” she said, “but I am well pleased to hear it.”

“I cannot believe you would embarrass me so, brother!” Georgiana gasped, vexed, “And I am not the only person who sings your praises!”

Darcy raised an eyebrow at the girl and she quietened, but Elizabeth was too amused, “Oh? And who else sings my praises, Miss Darcy?”

Mr Darcy looked back to his betrothed and she took in the agitated expression on his face with some measure of joy. He tried to remain irritated, but the small smile she greeted him with immediately lessened his worry.

“I believe she is referring to Colonel Fitzwilliam,” he replied coolly, and Lizzy chuckled.

“Yes, how is the Colonel?”

“He is well, he wrote me recently to tell of his engagement.”

“He is engaged? Oh, how wonderful! You must pass on my congratulations,” Elizabeth said, but that sad note was back in her voice, and Darcy almost regretted bringing it up.

“I am sure you can tell him yourself – he has expressed many times a wish for further correspondence with you,” Mr Darcy suggested, and Mrs Bennet, who had been listening to their conversation with some interest, found it was the right time to join in.

“Does this Colonel Fitzwilliam have many connections within His Majesty’s Armed Forces? Perhaps he could suggest more militias be placed at Hertfordshire?” She asked pressingly, and Caroline Bingley smothered a laugh with her hand.

Mr Darcy opened his mouth, then closed it, unsure how to respond, and Mr Bennet sighed, “Of course there will be more militias assigned to Hertfordshire, wife, there are always more soldiers coming and going.”

Jane saw Elizabeth ready herself to argue, and she quickly garnered her attention, “Lizzy, Charles wishes to know more about your travels. He visited you at Lambton, but would love to hear more.”

Charles beamed from Jane’s other side, completely engaged, and Elizabeth was reminded once again of what a truly perfect match they were.

* * *

As dinner was being served, the conversation became more stilted, but each member of the party seemed completely content in discussion, or in their meal. Caroline was in talks with Georgiana and Mrs Hurst, although the naturally shy Miss Darcy was doing more of the listening, rather than talking. Mr Hurst was chatting animatedly to Mr Bennet about cards, and to the elder gentleman’s credit, he was doing a marvellous job of feigning interest.

Elizabeth had quietened somewhat, but was still interjecting occasionally when Jane asked a question, or disagreed. Mr Darcy himself was quietly focussed on his food, listening to the room, and Mrs Bennet was talking over anyone and everyone who would let her. Kitty and Mary were her current marks, and she was espousing the virtues of redcoats at some considerable volume.

“So, Miss Bennet, are you feeling any better?” Caroline Bingley asked suggestively, interrupting the conversation Elizabeth was having with Charles and Jane.

“I’m sorry?” She turned, confused.

“Your headache? Are you quite relieved today?” Caroline asked.

“Well I should think if I wasn’t, I would have stayed at home,” Elizabeth remarked, and turned back to Bingley, but Caroline wasn’t defeated so easily.

“So, you feel well enough to continue our discussion from yesterday evening?”

Elizabeth sensed the trap, but her mind was no longer foggy with the shock of grief as it had been the previous evening and she placed her fork on her plate decisively. “I do not see what discussion there is to be had? Mr Collins proposed to me, and I said no. Then he proposed to my friend, and she accepted his hand.”

She had barely leaned back towards Jane and Bingley before Caroline spoke again.

“So, you do not need a friend to commiserate with?” Caroline asked snidely.

Mr Darcy bristled.

“Why should I? I believe I am the one who turned Mr Collins away, not the other way around.” Lizzy pointed out.

“You misunderstand me Miss Bennet, I was referring to your other suitor?” She quipped, and Lizzy’s hands dropped below the table and began scrunching her dress into knots again.

“I had no other suitor, Miss Bingley, and no matter how much you wish to paint me as the kind of woman who would feel some kind of jealousy toward the marriage of my sister and a man I felt nothing for, I am no such creature.”

Caroline’s mouth was open slightly, offended, and Darcy was so overcome with pride in his perfect fiance that he could have kissed her in front of the entire gathering. No-one else appeared to have noticed the dressing down that Elizabeth had just delivered, so deep in conversation or self-reflection were they, but Jane was trying very hard not to smile, and Georgiana was blushing in surprise.

“Miss Bennet, I meant no offense, I was simply offering–”

“You were not offering anything, Miss Bingley, you were searching for some weakness, a flaw to exploit in order to set me back in the place you seem to have decided I belong. I have no interest in letting you treat me thus.” Lizzy said, and Mr Darcy didn’t dare look at her, for fear that he might reveal his feelings of admiration. He simply stared down at his plate, and took a sip of his wine. By this statement, however, Mr Hurst and Mr Bennet had stopped to listen, and it was only a matter of time before the rest noticed the disagreement.

Caroline opened and closed her mouth slightly, unsure what to say. Jane and Charles shared a meaningful look, “Lizzy, are you alright?” Jane asked quietly. Elizabeth glanced at her.

“Fine,” she muttered, “I… ah… I believe I am perfectly…” She trailed off. When she spoke again her voice was lower, the words meant only for Jane and perhaps her fiance. “Not at all, Jane. But I will be soon, I am certain.”

Caroline found her voice again, “Miss Bennet! It is unbecoming of you to speak to me in this way, especially as I have only ever offered you the hand of friendship!”

Elizabeth looked at her but said nothing.

“I must demand that you apologise for your insinuations.” Caroline commanded indignantly.

Elizabeth felt her righteous anger escalating again, but she continued to stay silent.

“Eliza, what can you hope to gain from alienating your future sister-in-law? Especially as I could invite you into upper society circles, and perhaps find you a husband that you don’t feel too above to turn down.” Caroline suggested rudely and Elizabeth could hold her tongue no longer.

“Miss Bennet,” Darcy started, seeing the familiar set of her jaw, but she silenced him with a glare.

“Miss Bingley, we are not friends.” She stated, and the whole table was watching them now as if it were a production, “We have never been friends. I have it on good authority that you near-constantly wage assault on my character and appearance at every opportunity. All while I have _never_ done the same to you, despite my dislike of you in general, as I would not stoop so low as to gossip behind someone’s back. You tried to ruin the happiness of your brother and my sister, with no thought as to the feelings of either party. I shall not apologise to you, and what’s more, I think you’ll find I do not need a husband.”

The entire room fell into an awed silence.

Mr Darcy took another long draught of his wine.

Then, Mrs Bennet spoke up. “You are being ridiculous Lizzy, of _course_ you need a husband.”

“Really, woman, is that all you are capable of hearing?” Mr Bennet muttered under his breath, probably not intending for anyone else to hear, but it brought the edges of a smile to Darcy’s lips.

“No, Mama, I do not.” She said, resigned.

Mr Darcy waited for the inevitable - for Elizabeth to reveal their engagement - but before either of them had a chance to speak, Caroline Bingley decided that far too much time had passed without her opinion being known.

“Well, Miss Bennet, you’ll never find one if this is the way you behave in polite company. Among family, no less.” She said, severe and cutting.

For a fleeting moment, it seemed as if Elizabeth would fight back with some of the fire she’d just displayed, but it was as if all the strength had gone out of her. Instead of retorting, she simply picked up her fork again and smiled sweetly. “No, Miss Bingley, I suppose you’re right.”


End file.
